You wouldn't want your son to catch a disease transmitted from the dirty needles of drug abusers would you? [sarcasm] 'Cause I was thinking that right after we get out of the hospital would be a good time to show him how to mainline crack! [/sarcasm]
I really like that one, but here's another:
"You should circumcise your newborn while he can't feel it!"
Stop! It's too funny! I mean it, you're killing me here! You're making my sides hurt! So nerve endings don't function for, what, a few hours after birth? Then what's the deal with the Apgar test? Has the human penis become such an object of revulsion that we should cut part of it off just to make it a little easier to clean?
Wait, here's another one:
"Don't you want what's best for the baby?"
I heard that one about 20 times in the first 2 days of my son's life. The condescending manner in which it was said just made me angrier. It's as if no one can possibly know anything that the nurse or doctor hasn't already considered and rejected as complete nonsense. Last time I checked, medical personnel put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. They get tired, bored, angry at spouses, have bills to pay. Mistakes happen all the time. Why do you think malpractice insurance premiums have gone up so much? Believing EVERYTHING a nurse or doctor or any medical practitioner says is a great way to get yourself or a loved one into deep doo-doo with a quickness.
Hell, I'm guilty of it too! I used to believe that if you attended medical school, your feces stopped stinking and you automatically knew the answers to life, the universe, and everything. Really! If I hadn't believed that, I might have paid more attention to my wife when she told me about her mercury poisoning. We both fell for the 3rd one up above when we allowed the doctor to administer Pitocin because the wife's water had broken, but she hadn't started contractions.
Looking back, I believe that the doctor was more concerned with her own situation and wanted to get our pregnancy out of the way. As I recall, her mother was having some kind of problem, so she didn't want to be helping us, she wanted to be with her mother. Can't say I blame her, but I sure would've liked to have had someone else handle the wife's labor who WASN'T in such a hurry!
We had to rotate guards on my son so he wouldn't 'accidentally' get vaccinated before leaving the hospital. Me, my sister-in-law, then my wife, rinse and repeat. Once, my wife had to tell a staff pediatrician to let go of my son's foreskin! She, (the pediatrician) was trying to demonstrate that it, (the foreskin) should be removed. You don't retract the foreskin on a newborn! Look it up! Google it! Get away from my child! Drop the penis, take 2 steps back and no one will get hurt!
And still I thought we'd dodged the bullet after our stay in the hospital. . .
I really like that one, but here's another:
"You should circumcise your newborn while he can't feel it!"
Stop! It's too funny! I mean it, you're killing me here! You're making my sides hurt! So nerve endings don't function for, what, a few hours after birth? Then what's the deal with the Apgar test? Has the human penis become such an object of revulsion that we should cut part of it off just to make it a little easier to clean?
Wait, here's another one:
"Don't you want what's best for the baby?"
I heard that one about 20 times in the first 2 days of my son's life. The condescending manner in which it was said just made me angrier. It's as if no one can possibly know anything that the nurse or doctor hasn't already considered and rejected as complete nonsense. Last time I checked, medical personnel put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. They get tired, bored, angry at spouses, have bills to pay. Mistakes happen all the time. Why do you think malpractice insurance premiums have gone up so much? Believing EVERYTHING a nurse or doctor or any medical practitioner says is a great way to get yourself or a loved one into deep doo-doo with a quickness.
Hell, I'm guilty of it too! I used to believe that if you attended medical school, your feces stopped stinking and you automatically knew the answers to life, the universe, and everything. Really! If I hadn't believed that, I might have paid more attention to my wife when she told me about her mercury poisoning. We both fell for the 3rd one up above when we allowed the doctor to administer Pitocin because the wife's water had broken, but she hadn't started contractions.
Looking back, I believe that the doctor was more concerned with her own situation and wanted to get our pregnancy out of the way. As I recall, her mother was having some kind of problem, so she didn't want to be helping us, she wanted to be with her mother. Can't say I blame her, but I sure would've liked to have had someone else handle the wife's labor who WASN'T in such a hurry!
We had to rotate guards on my son so he wouldn't 'accidentally' get vaccinated before leaving the hospital. Me, my sister-in-law, then my wife, rinse and repeat. Once, my wife had to tell a staff pediatrician to let go of my son's foreskin! She, (the pediatrician) was trying to demonstrate that it, (the foreskin) should be removed. You don't retract the foreskin on a newborn! Look it up! Google it! Get away from my child! Drop the penis, take 2 steps back and no one will get hurt!
And still I thought we'd dodged the bullet after our stay in the hospital. . .
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