Insult to Injury

So, we'd moved, put our house on the market, I'd started school, we were learning about a new area of the country, trying to find a daycare so that the wife could work while I went to school, and now, we had to learn about autism.

The first thing we found out is that no daycare will accept children with autism. Oops.

Um, we've already taken out loans for my schooling, and we're past the refund period, school is during the day, and now my wife can't get a day job to pay for our living expenses because our son can't be in a daycare program? How's that supposed to work?

Let's heap a little more on to that! Our son no longer responds to his name, doesn't want to wear clothing, thinks feces is the greatest paint on earth, will sit and watch water pour from a garden hose for hours on end, likes to sit in the middle of the parking lot and drop rocks down the drain grate, won't eat table food, and will 'melt down' if we try to get him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

Hmm, let's also add a little dash of constant stares because our son still drinks from a bottle at age 3, slap in a little embarrassment in because he can't stand solid foods, (he will throw up at the drop of a hat) and so he only eats baby food.

Mix in a little of the snide comments from people standing in line behind us at the grocery store who have no fucking idea what it's like not to sleep for days on end while he escapes from his crib and moans or comes to us silently demanding a bottle refill by pressing the empty into our sleeping faces.

Dumps every building block he owns out on the floor, tears every piece of tissue from the box to leave them covering the blocks. Try walking on that in the dark and not making a sound because his hyper-sensitive hearing would wake him up.

Oh yeah, I also love it when he climbs into a laundry basket with his blanket and just sits. Too tired to do anything, including walk, for hours during the day, but then can disappear at any moment unless we keep the door barricaded.

Did I mention how much I hate cleaning feces from walls, cribs, mattresses, sheets, children's hair, fingernails, and carpets?

Oh yeah, then have the facilities people at our apartment complex bring in a service to spray pesticide around the entrances to our apartments, bury more in the area where my wife is trying to plant flowers, while my son plays endlessly with the water hose in the dirt, so that they can start allowing large dogs on the property. Can't have empty apartments because they're too expensive now can we? We got our first seizure from that one. . .

Then, my wife and I get called hysterical and that we are desperate to find someone or something to blame for our son's autism. Are you kidding me?!

Storm Clouds on the Horizon

My son did the usual things for his first year, year and a half. He started walking at almost exactly one year. Put on weight like he should, his blond hair was too pretty to cut, so his hair was getting long and driving his Great Grandma nuts, (She used to be a Beautician, back when people actually went to school to learn their trade).

The storm was coming.

My wife REALLY took to the Internet. She has a masters degree in marketing and LOVES to research. Once she figured out search engines, (back in the late '90s) she was off and running. After we found out she was pregnant, she REALLY started to research health and safety information for children. To her credit, she tried to explain her misgivings to me, hell, she tried to explain to her regular doctor, the OB, even her chiropractor, but I was blissfully ignorant of any possible problems, and so were her doctors, every one of them. She looked healthy and attractive, what could be the problem?

You see, my wife knew some things that I didn't, (obviously). She had worked in a job while she was in college doing mercury porosimetry, (it's materials analysis, but it's easier for you to Google it than for me to explain). The company she worked with didn't/wouldn't install fume hoods, so everyone there got dosed with industrial grade mercury.

How can someone get away with that you ask. Well, when you're friends with the OSHA inspector, it's easy to 'accidentally' find out about surprise inspections so that you can close down areas that might, (read that, would) violate OSHA regulations. Keeps the safety records nice and clean, and since the employees are making the only decent wage to be found in a small southern town, they're pretty desperate to keep working and not rock the boat.

[sarcasm] On the other hand, when her hair started to fall out and her gums started to bleed, my wife decided a toxicity test was in order [/sarcasm]. Submitted a hair test and found out she was nearly lethally toxic with mercury, which was enough impetus to get her to quit the job. Unfortunately, back then, no one really understood the problems she was going to have nearly 20 years later.